Bloody Mary, BLAH BLAH BLAH

This stupid guy called John Brown made up the book "Bloody Mary". Ever since my un-funny mom told me about the story, there have been ridiculous billboards about her and her pig-faced boyfriend. There's also a dead Burger King guy who has a bad appetite for blood. My mom even found an email about anti-Bloody Mary, who is STUPID...SHE"S SO STUPID!!!!!! Nikki, if you are reading this, you should donate your other cat, or your pug, to take down those Bloody Mary signs. I have planned an assault to take all of the Bloody Mary signs in the world down. First, I get all the kids who hate Bloody Mary, second, I get the people with strong teeth - you've probably seen that girl on that Stride commercial - strong teeth - well, we go to the dentist every week or so, so we probably have strong teeth. Now, back to plan two. So, I get kids that have sharp teeth and I get them to gnaw off the poles that are holding up the signs. Third, caution - to the young boys or girls that are doing this, have your parents' permission to do this first. Fourth - you get your parents, you bring the Bloody Mary sign onto their trailer, p.s. (tell them to bring trailers), then you get your parents to get the torch or lighter and then, this is a song I wrote myself: "Bloody Mary signs - you will die, lalalalalalala burn and burn and burn to ashes till you are dead and you never going to bother us again".

Dogs

Dogs, Dogs, Dogs. I have one that is brown and he is ... 2. And, he is a chocolate lab, he likes to be fed all the time, especially when I feed him because I give him extra. He likes to be petted and he has to go pee usually out in the yard. My dad makes me do all that stuff. It's harsh, but I get through it somehow. I don't want to get rid of the dog I have now, but I want to get a Bassett Hound and name him Mr. Tibbs. But, I changed my mind, I want a chihuaha that is going to be named PAPI! He is going to be black and brown for Halloween, he is going to be Houndoom. You have probably heard of Houndoom if you listened to my music. It is on the right, lower-hound corner, you just click P-O-K-E-M-O-N and then you're on the Pokemon song. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, um - dogs.